Insecurities

I probably haven't drawn anything since my son was born. I haven't really had much time for drawing, or any other hobby really. And honestly, if I have had time, I feel so sleep deprived and fuzzy-minded that all I want to do is scroll through Instagram or watch YouTube videos. So the other day I decided to give it a try since it had been so long. It used to be that my problem was running out of ideas to draw, now my problem is I have plenty of ideas, but a lack of motivation.
The word came to me. Grace. It's been the main theme of my life lately. I mean of course... isn't it for all Christians? Yes, but it has been the main word I speak over my day that gives me peace in these days of new motherhood.

I'm exhausted. Grace. I don't have the attention span to read my Bible. Grace. The only prayer I've prayed today is "Thanks God". Grace.

I want to say you can't use grace as a crutch, I mean it's definitely not an excuse, but in all truth, it is a crutch for me. Actually its more than a crutch. It's a wheelchair. Grace is what is carrying me through every day of this new mom thing. It is what has carried me all the way to this time in my life.

I struggle constantly with feeling like I am not good enough. Not good enough at being a wife or mother. Not good enough at cooking meals or cleaning the house. Not good enough at well, just about everything really, but especially being a Christian. You know, doing the good Christian girl things like reading your Bible and praying and just being a loving and awesome person in general.

But God has not called us or asked us to be "good enough". He just wants us to be us. If you're trying to be someone else, well, he already has a so and so, He wants you. He wants me. He needs us to trust Him where we are so He can take us to where we need to be.

I'm definitely not good enough, but I am dependent on Him and willing to do what He asks. I'm a work in progress on a journey. I am covered by His grace.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

And behold a voice from heaven, saying: 
This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.
Matthew 3:17

(Just wanted to add a note here that in Matthew 3:17 this verse is talking about Jesus when He was baptized. But I believe when we read this, we can also believe this is how God sees us as His children, because we are covered by Jesus' blood and being transformed in His image with ever-increasing glory which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. (2 Corinthians 3:18) )

Thanks for stopping by,
                                     Courtney

Comments

  1. UnknownSeptember 12, 2016 at 1:54 PM

    Love it! You are speaking a vital truth. Grace is often a wheelchair for me, too, but hear me when I say this: you are an awesome Momma to Titus. No one could mother your sweet boy better than you, amd I mean that from the bottom of my heart. ❤

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownSeptember 12, 2016 at 1:54 PM

    Love it! You are speaking a vital truth. Grace is often a wheelchair for me, too, but hear me when I say this: you are an awesome Momma to Titus. No one could mother your sweet boy better than you, amd I mean that from the bottom of my heart. ❤

    ReplyDelete

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