Sparrow and Arrow

I probably haven't drawn anything since my son was born. I haven't really had much time for drawing, or any other hobby really. And honestly, if I have had time, I feel so sleep deprived and fuzzy-minded that all I want to do is scroll through Instagram or watch YouTube videos. So the other day I decided to give it a try since it had been so long. It used to be that my problem was running out of ideas to draw, now my problem is I have plenty of ideas, but a lack of motivation. The word came to me. Grace. It's been the main theme of my life lately. I mean of course... isn't it for all Christians? Yes, but it has been the main word I speak over my day that gives me peace in these days of new motherhood. I'm exhausted. Grace. I don't have the attention span to read my Bible. Grace. The only prayer I've prayed today is "Thanks God". Grace. I want to say you can't use grace as a crutch, I mean it's definitely not an excuse, but in all tru

Just a little something that popped into my head while I was sitting on the couch waiting for my son to wake up.. Do you ever feel dissatisfied with life? Not that you’re ungrateful. Not that you’re above it all or that you deserve more. Just, hollow.  A restless feeling that settles into your stomach, your soul. A desire to create, to explore… to do nothing. Confused. Wondering… wandering . What is this feeling? This empty feeling that nothing in this life will ever be enough. Hollow soul. Wandering heart. Feeling this way makes me feel guilty. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me. Then I remember a quote I’ve read before by C.S. Lewis,  “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”  And another by J.R. Tolkien,   “Not all who wander are lost.”  And then I don’t feel so alone, and I can hold on to the hope that one day, I will be where I belong. “But

A few years ago if you would have told me I was going to be a mother in a couple years I would have replied "Yeah right!". Because two years ago, I didn't want to be a mother. Looking back now I believe that feeling sprouted from fear of the unknown, but also disbelief. Disbelief that I couldn't be a mother. That I wasn't good enough to parent a child. An ache grew in my stomach. A conviction. I fought the desire to be a mom. I would always focus on the negative side of parenting and focus on all of the things I loved about my life that I didn't want to change. But when God calls you to something that is truly your calling, you can't fight it. You can try, but you won't win. Having interest in the blogosphere, I found women I like to call "blogger moms". I found handfuls of women sharing their stories. They shared openly their about their feelings, their flaws, but also how the glory of God shines so brightly through it all. One blog

This past weekend was insane.  Our church and family threw a baby shower for me and Kurtis and we feel overwhelmed with blessings. I feel like we were caught up in a whirlwind and now we are sitting in a daze thinking "Did that really just  happen?" A room that was once cluttered and not payed much attention to is now the center of attention in our house and filled with gifts given out of the kindness of our family and friend's hearts. All for a little person they don't yet know. My family worked so hard decorating the fellowship hall at our church. It was all so beautiful and adorable. You can tell they put a lot of thought and planning into it and I can't thank them enough for all of their hard work and support. Kurtis' family made the cake and cupcakes. It turned out so pretty! (and delicious :) )  I love Kurtis' smile in this picture. This is a quilt my grandma made for our little one. My friend Hannah took all of these pictu

First Snow of 2016! (does this past Sunday actually count?) This is our first winter with our little farm, and it has already been interesting. With freezing temperatures, it was tricky keeping enough water out there for them. You would be surprised how much water only two ducks need... I had one little pan I would change out every couple hours and the ducks would sit next to it and peck any chicken that came near it. They are water hogs. I think they are so cute in the snow. Nessie fluffs up her feathers and yeah... it's just pretty cute. They also eat the snow. Which is pretty cute too. So this changing and replacing of the water was just not going to work. We got an extension cord so we could put a light in the barn. We have it pointing at their water and a small pool so now my care for them can go back to as low maintenance as possible! (yay!) The chickens have been quite skeptical of the snow. They come out and peck around for a little bit, then back to

It’s 2016! ...Now where do I start? How?…  Part of me wants to explain everything, part of me wants to ignore everything, but the dominant part of me, just wants to write. So here I go with no specific plan of how this will go, or goal to where this will end… 2015 was a great year. There may be many who disagree, but for me, I didn’t want it to end. There were times so low I didn’t even feel alive, just hovering in existence, and there were times so high I may have thought I was literally high. High on life. I’ve been learning, I still am, but in the process of a year I have learned that life is not bad. Life is good. Life is amazing. Through the ups and downs of it all, it may seem like we are all over the place, but if you be still and know, you will feel God holding you calmly in the middle. I am so thankful He has brought us through, and my feelings of reluctance toward 2016 now feel like acceptance, and almost like being handed my diploma of 2015. I’ve graduated, on to