Goodbye 2015.

It’s 2016! ...Now where do I start? How?… 

Part of me wants to explain everything, part of me wants to ignore everything, but the dominant part of me, just wants to write. So here I go with no specific plan of how this will go, or goal to where this will end…

2015 was a great year. There may be many who disagree, but for me, I didn’t want it to end. There were times so low I didn’t even feel alive, just hovering in existence, and there were times so high I may have thought I was literally high. High on life. I’ve been learning, I still am, but in the process of a year I have learned that life is not bad. Life is good. Life is amazing. Through the ups and downs of it all, it may seem like we are all over the place, but if you be still and know, you will feel God holding you calmly in the middle.

I am so thankful He has brought us through, and my feelings of reluctance toward 2016 now feel like acceptance, and almost like being handed my diploma of 2015. I’ve graduated, on to the next phase of life. It is an awesome feeling of accomplishment, and at the same time, new fears, and those fears motivate you to create a plan of attack, literal attack, as we enter a new year in hopes of not screwing this one up.

2016 will bring new milestones, things we have never done or been through. This year we will be married for four years. (To all of you with years beyond, go ahead and chuckle) Four years feels like a long time! Yet, I look at our wedding pictures and giggle at how it only felt like yesterday. I also look back on all of the memories of our first and second year, and all the things we have learned and been through in those times.

Even bigger than that, before we are married a full four years, we will become parents. PARENTS! This is the one that I have the hardest time comprehending. Four years of marriage sure, that’s not shocking, I feel like I’ve been married to Kurtis my whole life. But parents? I am going to be responsible for another human being’s life? Insanity... My mind is blown constantly every day as I feel our little one kick and move inside of me, and know one day that those little legs will take them places, and those little arms will learn to embrace life like their mother did long, long ago. I’m not scared of changing diapers and teaching them the basics of life, they’ll do fine. I’m scared of training this child in the way they should go, so they will not depart from it. What a mission I have been granted with.

Through it all, all I can do is trust Him. He is the one who put me here, put breath in my lungs and gave me this mission. He gave me this life… and all I can do is keep on living it.

I will share one goal with you on this blog, and that is to not take myself too seriously. I want to treat this like a live journal, which could mean some of the most random unorganized things you could read. My mind dumped on a page with some random pictures I took. It’s not special or anything impressive by any means, but that is how I am. We could be talking about coffee and I could then explain to you why you don’t have to refrigerate fresh eggs. So expect to see incorrect grammar and punctuation. Expect spelling errors and words that ain’t really even words at all. (See what I did there? ;)) But something you can expect is something real, and I hope to stick to that.

Thanks for reading J -Courtney